Hey everyone! I'm so excited to announce that I've recently been nominated for the sunshine blogger award by the wonderful Lujain from aalujain.wordpress.com/. She's been blogging for about 4 months. Her site is gorgeous and her posts are worth reading. She's also incredibly active on Twitter which is really awesome. Definitely check her out! Here are the rules for this award:
Questions for me:
My answers:
My nominees:
Have fun everyone! Happy Sunday!
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So...it's been a little over a month of summer already! It literally feels like I just got off school a few days ago. What is this sorcery? Seriously though, I'm already dreading going back to school and that's still over a month away. Anyways, I wanted to tell you guys what's been going on so far this past month: the things I've accomplished, what still needs to be done, and anything interesting that's happened! Let's get started. The first accomplishment I'm super proud of is getting my first job! From April of this year until I secured my job I had been stressing about it. I don't know about you guys, but finding one is really tiring. Just scouring pages and pages on online job websites like snagajob.com and indeed.com literally caused headaches. I really wanted to work as a barista at a boba shop so I applied to many many stores with this position available. However, I'd say about 20% of them actually responded to my application. And maybe only 5% called me and we either had a phone interview or we set up a date to have an interview in person. We had those interviews and even though I thought it went well they never contacted me back ever again. So of course I felt down and disappointed and also just tired, because I had to start searching once again. I went back to the same sites and hoped that new jobs have appeared. And that's when I saw that the boba shop that's only 1 minute away from where I lived was hiring. I was elated, but then I saw that they were hiring people for the supervisor position only. I decided to apply anyways, and for the part where they asked how many years of supervision I had, I just put zero, because of course you want to be truthful. Anyways, the next day they contacted me through email, and asked if we can chat via phone. I agreed, and throughout the whole phone conversation it was mostly the other person stressing about the importance of leadership and how he felt no one working there right now had that certain quality. He didn't actually ask me any questions at all. He contacted me again the next day and told me to go to the shop and ask to talk to the manager. That's exactly what I did. It was way out of my comfort zone but I'm so glad I did it because if I hadn't, I wouldn't have gotten the job. The manager conducted an interview and I was able to answer all of the questions smoothly, and I got the job. I was both proud and relieved that my search had ended, and now I had a job that I would be keeping until I leave for college a year later. I was really excited when I got my first paycheck as well; it was definitely the highlight of my week. It was the first time I got paid for anything, and I treated my family the next week with some boba. Another accomplishment was that I finally got a bank account. All my friends had one and I didn't. I'm almost 17. Usually people open one younger, around 14 years old. Anyways, that happened actually a few days ago. I also got a credit card under my parents' account, which was AMAZING, to say the least. My first ever credit card!! Like I emphasized in my post right here, I'm hanging out a lot more with my friends this summer. I'd say last summer I only hung out with my friends twice: once for my friend's birthday and once for my birthday. This summer, I've already hung out maybe 6 times with people, and we're only halfway through the period. I've definitely made more of an effort to spend time with others instead of chilling in my room, eating, and watching YouTube videos. Of course, I'm going to be a high school senior next year, so why not get a head start on college apps right? I started writing essays for the University of California application. When August 1st hits you'll definitely see me start writing the actual application! Something really interesting that started happening this summer was that I started listening to kpop! This began maybe 5 days ago. So far I've listened to only two groups, Blackpink and Twice, both of which are girl groups. I have a lot more groups to explore and I'm really excited. I've even enlisted the help of my kpop fanatic friend and she's been spitting out groups and songs that I absolutely HAVE to listen to. Alright, so now I'm going to talk about stuff I still need to accomplish. I need to start actually reading the books I said I was going to read but somehow, even though there's lots of time in the summer, I haven't had much dedicated to reading. Of course, like I mentioned before, I have to start the actual applications for colleges when their applications are released. Other than that, I can't think of anything else I HAVE to do. I'm going to Las Vegas next week which is going to be pretty cool. In August, I'm going on a one week cruise as well. During both these weeks I'll be taking a bit of time off from the blog as well. Anyways, that's it for today's post. Thanks for reading. Happy Sunday! Hey guys! Today's post is going to be different because I'm going to be talking about sports, something new on this website. Specifically, I'll be talking about NBA player Demarcus Cousins joining the Warriors.
Now, some of you know that I do indeed watch basketball, and that the Warriors are indeed my favorite team. I've been a fan of them since the 2013-2014 season, when I started watching basketball when I was 12 years old. His decision was announced almost 2 weeks ago. A vast majority of the NBA fanbase are comparing Cousins' move to the Warriors to Durant's move back in 2016. They're calling Cousins weak and a "snake" and trash talking him for joining a team that's already dominating the league. They're also putting a lot of hate onto the Warriors for agreeing to sign with him and again stacking up their team. You know what I say? Cousins, like every other NBA player in the world, wants one thing: a ring. He couldn't do it with the Kings, he couldn't do it when he joined with New Orleans Pelicans center Anthony Davis. The Warriors were interested in signing him, and he saw his chance and he took it, just like KD. You have to evaluate what's more important: staying with a team that's pretty weak WHEN compared to multiple other teams in the league OR switching teams to actually have a chance to win the championship. Besides, who wouldn't want to play with the Warriors? They're such a fun team. They have players able to drive effectively, players creating shots for other players, and of course players who can shoot incredible threes. The Warriors also didn't sign Cousins just because of his power in the league; no, the Warriors actually needed a big like him. Cousins is a dominating center in the NBA, and a lot of people thought that he along with Anthony Davis together in the Pelicans would have been devastating. Unfortunately, we really couldn't explore their chemistry on the floor due to Cousins' injury in the season. The Warriors were in desperate need of a center who could rebound, get to the rim, score, set screens, basically do it all. Zaza, however much I respect him, is not great. Anyways, he along with most of our other centers who got adequate time on the court (Javale McGee and David West) have left. All we have is Damian Jones, Kevon Looney, and Jordan Bell, all relatively young and new players. We NEEDED Cousins. He is the perfect fit for the Warriors not only because of the skills he possesses that the Warriors are in dire need of but also because of his ferocity. He gets hit up with technicals all the time and is not afraid to shout and trash talk players on the floor. Just like who? You guessed it - Warriors' own Draymond Green. They're going to get along just fine. Everyone, no matter if they hate the Warriors or not, can agree that it'll be an interesting season next year, with so many changes. It's not just Cousins' move that is sparking conversation; you also have Lebron James joining the Lakers and Kawhi Leonard going to the Hornets, to name a few. It's definitely going to be wild next year, and I'm excited to see how everything will work. That was it for today's post! Happy Sunday! Hey guys! Today I wanted to talk about something I struggle with: social situations.
This has been a problem of mine for as long as I remember. I'm not actually sure if I have the actual illness (social anxiety disorder) since I've never been formally / professionally checked out. I did take a couple of diagnostic quizzes online and the results tell me that I do have the disorder, but again, it's not really a professional face to face diagnosis. I guess I probably should get checked out. Whether I have social anxiety disorder or not, my inability to feel comfortable in multiple social positions definitely posed and still pose quite a lot of challenges in my life. The quizzes I took will be linked at the end of this post. The situations that most people get a little nervous about, where they might get a little fluttering feeling in their stomachs, those kinds of symptoms are multiplied for me in the same situations. A good example is talking in class, everything from answering a simple question to giving presentations. Even when I'm answering a question I'm 100% sure I have the right answer to, I'll feel really nervous. My heart will race, and I will begin to sweat everywhere. Obviously, being called out in the classroom to answer a question that I have no idea how to answer is way worse. I can't stand everyone looking at me, you know? And the sensation of their eyes on me literally creates a mental barrier; I'm unable to think, to formulate an answer to the question I'm being asked. I usually end up stuttering, not responding at all to the question, and the teacher has to call on another person. It's embarrassing, and the feeling I get in my stomach afterwards is just horrible. I'm unable to look anyone who witnessed that in the eye; I'm just so incredibly flustered whenever that happens. Even reading in class is something I worry about. Last year, my english class read stories from the textbook out loud from time to time. We would snake across the room, each person reading one paragraph. I would count how many people would read before me and associate that to the paragraph I would read when it was my turn. I would read that one paragraph over and over in my head, making sure I knew how to pronounce all the words. And doing that hindered my ability to focus on the actual story, and often times after we finish reading I have little idea what the story was about. When I was actually reading my part, I would get flustered, because again, even though my fellow classmates weren't necessarily looking at me while I was reading, most of them were definitely listening along, and just the thought of people paying attention to me is definitely not something I prefer. Lets move on to another situation I'm not comfortable with: close friends. Yes, even in an environment containing only me and my close buddies, I will sometimes feel uneasy and awkward. Here's an example: let's say that I have a funny story that I can't wait to share with my friend group during lunch. As I'm telling the story, once again just knowing that everyone's paying attention to me puts me under a lot of pressure. I fumble my words and the story ends up not being as entertaining as it could have been if it all went smoothly. Then, I might not get the reaction I was hoping for from my friends because of the poor storytelling and I end up feeling out of it the rest of lunch. Why is it that I feel so uncomfortable, even around my friends? This happens as well if I'm talking one on one with someone else. In that situation though, it mostly centers around the pressure of making eye contact. I find it really difficult to hold eye contact for a long time, and if I'm talking to someone I always move my eyes around, focusing on the background around the person, the person's forehead, or my lap. I make eye contact for at most 5 seconds before I can't hold it any longer. And in doing so I become flustered because I start to think about how awkward the situation probably is, with the other person holding eye contact and with me constantly dodging my eyes from their gaze. However, if I'm talking to a group of friends like in the situation with the storytelling, I'd simply be able to make eye contact with a bunch of different people, so holding it on one person is not a factor playing into that. Do you get what I mean? It's kind of messy, but I'm trying to explain the best I can. Of course, if I'm that awkward with my best friends, imagine how uncomfortable I am when I'm meeting new people / socializing with acquaintances. A recent example was at work. On the first day, I met around 5 new people, and I had no idea what to say after the usual "hi, I'm _____ nice to meet you!" It really is difficult to carry on a conversation with people I don't know or that I'm not familiar with because I'm not sure what their interests are, and I find it weird to ask them what they ARE interested in. So my shift usually consists of silence, but not the peaceful kind: the awkward kind. It's painful to endure but better than what I know what WOULD happen if I tried to start a conversation: I'd ask my coworker a question, they'd answer, I'd say something like "oh, that's cool!", and finally I'd falter off and silence would take over because I just have no idea how to carry on an interesting conversation. I also shake a lot when I'm talking to strangers. Again I've noticed this at work. Since I work at a boba shop, my duties include taking orders and making drinks. My hands always tremble when I'm holding my hand out to receive their money. Don't get me started on talking to teachers. I have to muster up my courage each time I have to go ask them for help. I'll go over what I'm going to say in my head many many times before I actually go up to them and talk to them, and even then I'll still get uncomfortable. I fumble my words, my cheeks get red, and my voice trembles. So I never ask them for help even when I really need it, which is terrible, I know. I don't really acknowledge them either (I don't say hi / bye / good morning to them). This is why I've NEVER had any teachers I felt close to, which makes everything harder for me (For example, any questions I had on the material being taught I asked my friends, which is obviously worse than if I had asked the teacher, who actually mastered the material. I had no idea who to ask for letters of recommendation. I also don't have any adult on campus I can talk to if I was in trouble). Let's talk about wonderful phone conversations! Everytime I call someone on the phone, for example to ask a company a question, I have to write out everything I plan on saying, including the words I would say to start and end the conversation. I run my lines in my head a couple times before calling, even though I already type out all the lines for the sake of easy reading. I absolutely dread calling someone on the phone; again, if the company has some online text messaging system, I would use that instead. On a more positive note, I have been trying to see more of my friends this summer. I've already hung out with them more this summer so far than last summer. Here's a log of what I've done to try to be more social:
That's what I have so far this summer. I plan on arranging more lunch / dinner meet ups with them and of course hitting them up to celebrate my birthday which is actually coming up shortly. Something else I want to accomplish social-wise is befriending my coworkers. Again, we don't talk much, but hopefully that will change by the end of the summer. Here is the quiz I took for self diagnosis: https://socialanxietyinstitute.org/test-social-anxiety-disorder-find-out-if-you-suffer-social-phobia Thanks for reading! If any of you are in a similar situation, feel free to hit me up on my twitter and we can talk about it: https://twitter.com/hellamelblog Happy Sunday! |
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